As I enjoy this coconut cupcake, I realize my mom’s wisdom was useful, but confusing. Scene one, she tells me to stay away from sugar. Scene two, she indulges in an ice cream sundae like it’s her last meal before execution. Back to scene one, she encourages me to delve passionately into whatever I connect with. Then bam, scene two. Her cooking classes fail and she shuts down her tofu lasagna-makin’ heart.
It’s crazy to think of the possible outcomes of this type of childhood. For me, I see a woman who already had two children by 23. And despite that, she still tried. There are so few people who try. And I’m so thankful to have had a mother to guide me in the right direction… of feeling total superior. I believe Tina Fey said it best when she accepted for Best Leading Actress Emmy in 2008. She said, “I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate to my looks and abilities.”
Back to my mama’s dreams.
My mother worried she did not have a unique proposition. And after years of repeating what she’s taught me, I realize that couldn’t be further from the truth. There is a place for everyone’s creativity and point of view. That is precisely why I have the courage to mamaquest. Request: Please encourage everyone you encounter to pursue their dreams. Even if their dreams are similar to your dreams and you’re jealous because you really want to be doing that thing, you still have to. I call bullshit on those shenanigans anyway. If you wanted to start a beads business, or whatever it is, you would be actively doing that. If you love beads or bees… Mazel Tov! Do it. Now. Talking about doing it does not count.
Sometimes finding the thing that wakes you up and excites you requires some unadulterated exploration. T.S. Eliot said, “We shall not cease from exploration and at the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” In honor of T.S. and my mother, I found myself on a scavenger hunt for inspiration earlier today.
First stop the Hirshorn. What do you see in this oil painting from 1951 by Chilean artist Roberto Matta? I see the looming chaos that the observers cannot control anymore. They can only partake in it since they are the perpetrators of their own misfortune.
The exploration did not end there. I followed up my art-time fun with my epitome of an oasis: the movie theater. Alone. It’s a romantic, exciting portal into endless experiences, destinations, existences, and best of all fantastical role playing. And today I was a 75-year-old, Jewess/Comedienne.
I saw Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work. This trailblazing, industry titan put together an exactly executed narrative of her career, or as she calls it: “The Career.” She’s a master of the inappropriate. My favorite! This one really tickled me and the 20 gay couples, who became my best buds for 92 minutes. “I like anal sex because it frees me up to multitask. I can check my blackberry. Read the New York Times. Make calls.” Oh, Joanie.
After spending most of the day thinking about how important this Buddha, karma, transcending time and space, hippie blahddy blah was, seeing this movie was a brisk smack in the face. Joan is 75 and still actively pursuing her passion with fervor and chutzpah. Downside: The merciless media and the constant rejection. Upside: This woman knows precisely what makes her happy and she spends all of her time going after it. What could make you luckier? It made me realize how much I love to work, but I’m not sure what I want to manifest my thoughts and energy to create. What is my “The Career?” More importantly, what is your “The Career?” Can I help? If so, I’m available.
Sorry, sorry, let me back up. There is someone luckier than Joan, and it is you. Feast your eyes on me and Wax Joan. Enjoy!
Oh, and a few parting words. Record what you are drawn to… in case you’re still in the exploration phase. I’m sure Firefall can relate when they think back to the times before ‘Just Remember I Love You.’