Sometimes I impose my idiosyncrasies on others thinking my way equals the best way. For instance I don’t like it when people tell me I look thin because the power goes straight to my head resulting in my desire to devour a chocolate sheet cake with vanilla frosting. Therefore I almost never tell anyone they are thin. I inherited this trait from my mom much like my love of pickles on any type of sandwich or my obsession with my hair.
In a lot of ways my mother and I were always very similar. After twenty years together and four years apart, I catch myself in these moments where I’m her. Almost. My mannerisms. My facial expressions. My tone of voice. In one sense it’s nice to feel like part of her is carried on in me. However I fear I won’t live up. I worry what she would say to me right now about my blog. Or my boyfriend. My lack of a brick and mortar job.
Don’t worry about me though. I found the answer. I will join the other 500 million earthlings on the road to enlightenment called Buddhism. It’s never caused a war. The clothes are topnotch. Buddhists have cool sayings like, ‘All conquest creates hate because he who is conquered remains in hardship. He who holds to peace, having forsaken any idea of victory or defeat, stays happy.” The Buddhists like the middle. Siddhartha Gautama, aka Buddha, had resigned himself to find the way to true happiness. He had a very comfortable life but he left it for yoga, fasts and meditation. He even exiled himself to a cave. Right before giving up he overheard a teacher say, ‘To make pleasant music a lute must be well tuned, if the strings are too slack, the sound is lifeless, if the strings are too taut, the sound is jarring. We must find the right accord.’ From there he came up with Buddhism, ‘the way of the happy medium.’ I’m pretty sure they have a lax conversion process. I declare Buddhism. I did find this how-to gives you a pretty good idea of what it entails. I am concerned about the whole ‘shall not seek pleasure’ thing. That seems restricting.