My camera is here! My camera is here! Time to start the interviews. I can’t wait to get cracking. Ever since I started this site, I’ve been daydreaming about the documentary I will put together. The narrative has changed and evolved in my head, of course. And in the process, I dusted off my monocle and started looking at documentaries and films for inspiration. In my daydreaming, I started to think, ‘Who would be cast in my masterpiece if it was a major motion picture?’
I didn’t have a chance to get to everyone cast. I did however cast everyone I’ve mentioned so far.
Mama Alice – Although my mom channels Francis McDormand a la Almost Famous. My mind also wanders to Barbara Hershey in Hannah and Her Sisters, but I feel like Beaches takes her out of the running. So even though part of me says Debra Winger, I’m going with Judy Davis. She has the right blend neurotic originality mixed with grace. Not to mention Terms of Endearment really tosses out Debra.
Papa Joe – My dad would want me to say Robert DeNiro, despite recent duds such as Righteous Kill and The Good Shepherd. But I think Stanley Tucci has more range and would be the only person to portray the transition from honest, loving family man (with a slight temper) to sullen widower struggling to find his new identity.
Billy – Tony Hale. The other day I had to drive Bill to the airport. Bill tells me that he and his girlfriend Kathy just broke up. Throughout the hour-long drive, Bill spattered facts about the romantic entanglement with superfluous comments like do you have that song ‘Don’t Mess with Bill?” Oldie, but yes I did in fact have it. So while listening to Motown, Bill tells me that Kathy told him she wanted nothing to do with him. I was listening but I wasn’t questioning. Kathy is such a pain in the ass, he’d say one minute. Then, I miss Kathy. Finally I thought to ask how old is this hussy Kathy anyway? Bill responds, ‘She’s 60, but you’d never know it.’ And thus the real life Buster of my family emerges; so it’s only fair Tony Hale continue the role he was born to play. Plus I know he has the panic attacks down. Side note: Bill only has panic attacks when he knows he may be spending time with family.
Mike – A lot of people say my brother looks like Mark Ruffalo, but I’m not sure Mark evokes the right type of smart ass aura. For some reason I think to Will Smith from Fresh Prince of Bel Air, but I think that would confuse viewers. Then there’s Jason Bateman, but he is not serious enough. I am in a pickle. My brother can be very shy, but get to know him and he’ll mercilessly make fun of you and then he’ll proceed to inform you that he knows everything about everything. I want to say Mark Walberg, but I don’t think Mike would like that.
Caitlin – As my best friend, Caitlin is clearly a little be neurotic, eccentric and prone to self-flagellation. We really are made for each other. We’re the only girls on the beach reading The New Yorker and Us Weekly simultaneously boning up on the latest political debates and who has just impregnated Jennifer Aniston. But who would play my partner in bitchiness? I really want to say Milas Kunis. I hope she’s ok with that.
Sandra – Francis McDormand. If you haven’t seen Friends with Money, do. Now. In it Francis is brazen. Vocal. Insightful. Quirky. In one scene, she meets this blonde amazon’s new baby named Tal. She says, ‘What if he turns out short?’ Now I’ve never seen Sandra openly ridicule someone for the baby name they picked. But it’s this type of chutzpah that assures me their auras elicit the same brand of brutal honesty.
Aunt Ro – In ‘I Heart Huckabees,’ Lily Tomlin plays a wacky existentialist/detective. She’s hysterical, but that’s irrelevant to her casting. After the movie was released, videos of her antagonizing the film’s director, David O’Russell, surfaced. Some say it was just a joke. Others insist they are real. See them for yourself here. Either way, she’s convincing. She would make an excellent Aunt Ro. As a peace offering, I will say Aunt Ro is very generous and very patient with Brother Bill. She’s not the most positive when it comes to hopes and dreams, but I think that’s to be expected from a nun. I assume the convent sees a lot of disillusioned souls.
Uncle Harry – This guy is a character. Really sweet. Funny. We’re not singing around a camp fire or anything, but a good bloke to share a beer with for sure. Beau Bridges. That’s all I got. Muscarella out.
Oh wait. Me! I’d like to be played Carrie Mulligan. She’s fabulous in An Education. My choice is not really based on anything other than aspiring to be just like her character in An Education. It’s hard to pick out someone to play yourself in a hypothetical movie. Who would play you in a movie and why? Leave a comment and it will make my day.
I think the first video will be up on Sunday to test the waters. Brother Bill will be in it so stay tuned!! Thank you for all the comments and emails!