I distinctly remember my mother’s frugality. Despite her penny-pinching ways she LOVED to drop $100 on the extrasensory perception services of psychics. I mostly remember the waiting rooms and the car rides filled with censored details of her appointment. One past life reading stands out in my mind more than the rest. She was told my brother Mike was a disciple of Jesus, I had been a ‘professional’ (Thanks a lot!), and she and my father had once been friends, she as a nun, he as a priest. The last part I never forgot. She said our four souls liked to stick together. Sure soul groups are considered an arch in reincarnation, but I’d claim ownership to that idealism any day.
I too feel the pangs of guilt whenever I make a frivolous purchase but a feeling of misguided inspiration descended upon me yesterday and led me to independent psychic consultant Liliana. Her voice sounded like an audition tape for the Love Potion #9 sequel; it was a perfect blend of international mixed with the nonchalant attitude that comes with knowing what’s to come. She said she was booked for the next four hours but could see me in the early afternoon. Simply being in demand legitimized her credentials and spun me into an excitement adjacent to unexpectedly hearing a Hall and Oates jam. Sometimes I forget what I’m doing. I don’t forget what I want.
I arrived promptly to find a barking dog and an aroma of cigarette smoke so strong I could smell it on the porch. Liliana’s extra weight on her tiny frame was hardly contained by her starkly misplaced modern house clothes. Ok, maybe it was a little much to expect her to wear a gagra choli. But come on, she can’t throw on a saree? I’d settle for a tunic. But no. Pajamas. I think I’ve seen that exact pair at Target by Xhilaration.
She brought me over to the future-seeing section of her living room and closed the gold curtains. I selected the tarot card, palm and crystal combo pack from a poster her brother made for her with very authentic-looking calligraphy.
I shuffled. I picked. I placed my stones and offered up my hands. She said I would have a long life (How Ketut of her) and that I had met my soul mate but my current negativity could destroy the relationship and send me down the ‘bad’ love line. She said the big ball of negativity surrounding our current situation would soon be over for good and that it was not connected to us, just an inconvenience. Hallelujah! She also said we would have children and fulfilling careers.
[Inset skepticism here] Now that we are done with that, we are on to the next. After receiving a prophecy from a future-telling professional with properly worn foretelling accoutrements, I speculate my mother had been seeking liberation. I could not help but bask in relief after hearing that everything I wanted had somehow been magically granted. Maybe like me she thought, ‘Gosh now I can stop worrying about all those things and actually do them.’ Sure it’s a hackneyed notion but it’s certainly one worth repeating.
Liliana also mentioned my friends did not have the ability to manipulate my mind, but when it came to matters of the heart (she actually talks like that) my friends liked to take advantage of me. That came out of nowhere since I didn’t ask about my friendships. I can only presume past trespasses have led to such an abysmal karmic fate. I cannot help the past but I can refuse to repeat it.
Whatever I have done, I repent.
We may lose our wealth and jewels;
We may lose our pride and fame;
We may lose – oh countless things.
But to me the greatest loss
Is to a trusted friend.
We may gain new wealth and jewels;
We may raise ourselves to fame;
We may gain a thousand things,
But to me the greatest gain
Is to win another friend.
Lorna A. Hills