Giving My Mother’s Eulogy Five Years Later

It’s never too late to right a wrong. To apologize. To make up for lost time. Every day we are all presented with this amazing opportunity to build what we want. This type of thinking is something I adopted a long time ago. The problem with this type of thinking though is that you can easily misuse it and say, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” That’s where you risk watching time pass you by.

I had one such opportunity come up recently. I avoid regret at all costs because it can be a waste of energy. Instead I have an alternative approach. I identify the source causing this pain and come up with a solution. Five years ago on January 12, 2006, my mother passed away and no one gave a eulogy. The priest did in a way. He knew her but only briefly. The priest was well-intentioned, he just didn’t capture the essence of my mother. Maybe if I had taken a break from shopping for black pants and crying in the shower, I would have thought about eulogies. Since then I have come to accept that at the time it was the furthest thing from my mind and that’s ok.

A Second Chance

Now I have an opportunity to right this wrong. My mother’s parish is having an anniversary mass on February 10. I have asked to say a few words about my mother. I will be filming it and posting up on MamaQuest.org for all of those who were there that day but won’t be able to make it to the mass. It’s something I feel will help me heal the wound of letting her down that day.

I’m scared. I feel like nothing I could say would ever really be good enough but I won’t let these fears and doubts consume my mind. I made a list of things I want to convey about my mom in the eulogy: she was giving, caring, loving, humble, considerate, and selfless. Now I’m thinking about stories that encompass those themes.

Warning

The thing about thinking that every day is a new opportunity is that it can discount the art of patience.  Every day is an opportunity also means building and working toward making your life exactly what you want it to be by following your passions. I read recently that when you have an idea it’s not random. It’s your calling to do what will make you happy. Frustration and craziness line the road to happiness but it’s all worth it. With any challenge whether it’s grief or a project or a relationship, it’s a lifelong commitment to working at it.

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4 Comments

Filed under Funeral, gratitude, grief, loss, mother

4 responses to “Giving My Mother’s Eulogy Five Years Later

  1. Tara

    Good luck, Lauren. I know it would be extremely difficult for me to do that same thing, even 15 years after my dad’s death. You’re such a strong person =)

  2. Ben

    Goodluck Lauren,
    I know that you will be able to do it. I gave my dad’s eulogy in 2008. My mother did not want me to do it, she didn’t think I’d be able to. I knew that I had to though. It was in my mind my last gift that I could give to my dad. If I can give you any advice it’s to just breathe and really encompass the moment. It was one of the proudest and saddest moments of my life all at the same time. Goodluck my friend, I know you’ll be great. Also, I never knew you had this blog, or that your mother died. I’m very sorry. I know we are planning to get together soon to talk about the rebuilding of Gardner ( if it’s possible), but if you’d be interested in talking about your mom, it’s a subject I can relate to with my dad. Best Wishes.
    Cheers,
    Ben

    • Thanks for the really sweet comment, Ben. We definitely need to get together soon and catch up. I’m looking forward to it. Your support is very much appreciated. 🙂

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