I’ll never truly understand the way my mother loved me. If I am lucky enough to have a daughter of my own, I will certainly do my best to love her as much and more. This idea came to me tonight when I watched Rodrigo Garcia’s film Mother and Child. The film is about the adoption process, but adoption is really just a vehicle to explore the joy and the tragedy of the mother-daughter relationship. The comfort of a mother’s support. The pain of a mother’s disapproval. The incredible miracle of giving birth. The inevitable heartbreak. The imbalance of love and devotion.
The film challenges the viewer’s preconceived notions of what being a family means and what love means. The pathos of the film can only be summed up in an excerpt from Katharine Hepburn’s autobiography Me where she explains her love for Spencer Tracy:
We use this expression very carelessly. LOVE has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get—only with what you are expecting to give—which is everything. What you will receive in return varies. But it really has no connection with what you give. You give because you love and you cannot help giving. If you are very lucky, you may be loved back.
Did I love my mother in this way? Sadly I have to be honest and say I did not. I don’t believe a child can love this way and Mother and Child, from what I gleaned, agrees with me. Did my mother love her children and her husband this way? Absolutely.
Disclaimer: This post is written at 1 am. I hope my words are intelligible.
P.S. Don’t be afraid to make the world a better place. The world needs your participation and input.