Let’s Encourage Each Other

Chrissy and Alex

Chrissy and Alex.

I am obsessed with this ridiculous practice where one person will discourage another person from trying something that breaks any comfortable societal norm. I have been thinking about it even more lately because my good friends Chrissy Baker and Alex Governatori are moving to Los Angeles to pursue their dream of becoming big Hollywood heavyweights. This couple is multitalented so I’m excited to see where they end up. While I am already planning my summers at their Malibu beachfront abode, they have also encountered a lot of naysayers.

Then this morning I came across this article Idea Tourism by Seth Godin. In it Godin postures that people shouldn’t judge or advise on something unless they go experience it themselves. Astutely he says if you want to understand a gun lover, go to a shooting range. This quote was my favorite: “Only when we try the idea on for size and actually use it do we understand it. With more ideas offering visitation rights than ever before, learning how to empathize with an idea is critical.”

This line applies to my friends taking the leap out to L.A. of course. As usual I see a connection between everyday challenges and experiencing loss. I’m not sure what the right answer is. Should we accept that there will always be people judging other people’s actions, or should educate these people as we encounter their hopefully unintentional negativity?

I’ve had many people tell me after a while their friends no longer wanted to hear about their loss, which I find heartbreaking. I think the answer lies in leading by example. We all have a responsibility to encourage the people we love as well as the cocktail party acquaintances we meet. Whether someone is looking to make sense of their grief or if they want to be the next pop music sensation, it’s of no cost to us to listen, be respectful and add in an enthusiastic ‘Go for it!’ There is plenty of love and success for all of us.

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Filed under for fun, gratitude, Lauren Muscarella

2 responses to “Let’s Encourage Each Other

  1. Chrissy

    Thank you for your beautifully written article. It is the support of loved ones like you that make going after our dreams so feasible. It’s funny that the people closest to us support us the most while strangers in passing or casual acquaintances tend to be the most negative. I think people are threatened by other people pursuing their dreams. While visiting in LA, we met people pursuing all aspects of the business, from music to costume design, and they had all encountered others whose envy of their ability to take life by storm channeled into criticism and negativity. Fortunately, our best friends like you are all creative, ambitious people so jumping cross country to pursue a intense industry is nothing but the norm. I really like your point about how this attitude can surface towards any action one takes, including grief. Unless someone is being self destructive or causing harm to another, encourage what makes a person feel complete and live a fulfilling life.

    • That’s such a good point to make, Chrissy — “as long as what someone is doing isn’t self-destructive.” Well that or completely ridiculous. I can’t turn back time and be Kristi Yamaguchi. Oh but I wish I could. 😉 Thank you for commenting and sharing your story with us!

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