There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad and focus on the good. So love the people who treat you right, and pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.
I stole that quote from someone’s facebook status because it’s amazing advice and it reminds me of a story about Mama Alice. In all of her infinite wisdom, like most of us, there were some easily solvable obstacles that eluded her. Saying she felt the need to be selfless in a gross understatement. She fed anyone who needed a meal, hugged anyone who needed comfort, and even offered to take in a friend of mine after he came out to his family. I’ve read enough of the Bible in Catholic school to know she embodied the part to which people should pay most attention. However, there is always that danger that someone will take advantage of you. Unlike the aggressive types, my mother fell hard for the passive aggressive, a toxic breed. Every time she’d have a diatribe lined up to make the case for people who were clearly duds.
One woman in particular clung to my mother. She inserted herself in my mother’s cooking class business at the time and constantly called to make plans. Eventually she could not defend this woman’s presence and I received the brunt of her venting. The theme of these rants was always the same: she didn’t want to be friends with her. She told me the same story for years. At 11, I lacked the necessary wisdom to help. At 14, I ended the saga for both our sake’s.
One day in the car after another classic vent, I introduced my mother to the phase out. “Stop making plans with her. Stop calling her back. Eventually she will get the hint and leave you alone,” I declared. My mother sat in silence. Speechless even. And anyone who ever talked with my mother for hours on end knows that’s damn near impossible. We didn’t talk about it after that. A week later my mother spritely floated through the kitchen and announced, “I am loving this phase out. Is that what you call it? A phase out?”
People you phase out aren’t bad people. They aren’t meant to be judged but they don’t belong in our orbit constantly either. Focusing on people who love you and things you love is some of the best advice when faced with any challenge. It’s a proven recipe to attracting amazing things into your life.